Define ‘green’
Wednesday June 15 2011 @ 8:03 pm

One of the office buildings I regularly spend a bit of my work week at is advertised as a ‘green’ building.  Reused materials, solar panels, recycling program, etc.  Along with this theme they have a grand total of 17 parking spots around the building that have signs posted that say ‘For Green Vehicles Only’.  After the handicapped spots, they are the prime parking areas.

Every time I’ve been at this building, every one of these spots has been empty.

A couple of weeks ago I had a bit of an epiphany.  As a result of said epiphany, I parked my Ford F-150 Crew Cab truck in a spot reserved for ‘green’ vehicles.  On my way to leave I was accosted buy building management (with a member of building security in tow).

‘You can’t park that here!’

‘Why?’

‘It’s clearly marked for GREEN vehicles ONLY!’

‘So it is….  and?’

‘That THING is clearly NOT green!’ (Yes, he called my baby a ‘thing’. Bastard.)

‘Sure it is.’

‘What?  How?’

‘It’s a flex fuel vehicle.  In fact, I’m currently running E85.’

‘What?’

‘Ethanol.  E85 Ethanol.  Corn gas.  Green.’

‘That’s not what we meant!’

‘Well you don’t do a very good job of explaining it.’

‘Just don’t park it here again’ and he stormed off (security wandered off a bit earlier…  I think to keep from laughing)

In any case…  I was back at this building today and noticed something.  About a third of the spots that were previously marked as green were no long marked at all.  It looks like the unwashed parking masses were now allowed to use them.

The other spots?  They all had new shiny signs….  ‘For Hybrid Vehicles Only’.

They were also all empty.