Posts Tagged ‘Beer’
who decides to use Halloween as a way to pass out some religious items instead of giving a kid a piece of candy or just turning out the friggin lights. Above you see a picture of the handout of religious items my kids recieved in their Halloween candy bag. At least…. I think its religious.
The pink sheet is a flyer for the church. The comic is a ‘your soul is going to hell unless you repent and accept Jesus’ comic (which is a sucky subject for a comic). You’ll also notice the standard WWJD braclet which, because of the rainbow colors, could easily be mistaken for a gay pride bracelet from a distance. Whoops. In any case… what I really don’t get is the necklace.
The necklace of mardi gras beads… with a monk… holding what looks like a mug of beer…. and the name TUCKS on the bottom of the robe.
So… um… what?
I’m assuming this is a reference to Friar Tuck and not Tucks Medicated Pads. So, a church is handing out a Friar Tuck character from the Robin Hood stories. The version of Friar Tuck that has has an propensity for the mass consumption of ale (hence the beer mug).
Obviously somebody screwed up. I will however take this opportunity to thank whoever put the Jesus pack together. The beer drinking Friar Tuck[s] mardi gras necklace now holds place of honor in my garage brewery.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this…. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.”
“In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
This is pretty much how things seem to work in my office at times.
I’m the guy banging his head with the phone.
(One of my favorite beer commercials… even though its for Budweiser (Budweiser sucks)).
So yesterday we found out the names for the boy’s Baseball and the youngest daughters Softball teams.
The Daughter has a infatuation with Lions and Tigers. It borders on a complete obsession really. From screaming ‘LLLLLIIIIIIIIOOONNNNNNNNN!’ so loud it nearly burst my eardrum during the safari at Disney’s Animal Kingdom to sleeping under a mountain of stuffed felines. If I remember correctly her first words were the complete script of ‘The Lion King’. So when she heard that her team was the Detroit Tigers she screamed like…. well, she screamed like a little girl. Once again nearly bursting one of my eardrums.
Later the same day we’re picking up the boy’s uniform and we found out his team name is the Milwaukee Brewers. So after I belt out a nice ‘YES!’ I look over and notice my wife has her face buried in her hands once again (she seems to do that alot when we’re out in public. I haven’t quite yet figured out why). It took a bit of explaining to the boy until he understood why I liked the team name and if you haven’t yet figured out why yourself, just take another look at the title and header graphic for the blog again.
side note: The sponsor of the boy’s team happens to be the local mortician. Oh well… you can’t win ‘em all. At least its not Chico’s Bail Bonds.