Look at that, posting two days in a row. Maybe I’m getting back on track.
I commute down I-83 from the PA line to Hunt Valley. Right now there’s a bit of bridge construction happening about halfway through my route. They’ve installed a temporary bridge (it looks like you’re crossing an erector set) and have jogged the southbound 83 lanes over the cross the temp bridge. As you can probably guess, there are orange cones, pylons and flashing signs all over the place. Several of these flashing signs advertise that the new speed limit in the construction zone is 50mph instead of the standard 65mph and that ‘fines are doubled’ in the construction zone.
This morning as I came up to the construction zone we had a few cars in both lanes. No real traffic. Everyone was following the signs (for once) and slowing down to about 50-55 (including me). The only person who wasn’t slowing down was the guy in the new, big, black Ford F-150 pickup behind me (we’re in the left lane). He was apparently very upset that I was slowing down. He demonstrated this by riding right up behind me until he was about 2-3 feet away and flashing his lights in a rapid manner. You know, being a dickhead. Being the courteous person that I am, I motioned with my arm that he should slow down. No, not that way, I was honestly trying to get the guy to slow down. He on the other hand, DID respond in that way.
Fine. What can I say, I tried to be helpful. I merged into the right lane to let him go buy. I hadn’t learned my lesson just yet. I AGAIN motioned that he should slow down (again the real way). Ford dickhead responded by leaning over to the passenger side of the truck, flipping me the bird (again) and mouthing a very obvious ‘Fuck You!’. He then floored it and took off down the now clear left hand lane. Oh well.
You see, there was a reason I (and everyone else) was going slow and trying to help this guy out. There was a Maryland State Trooper three cars up from us in the right hand lane. Maryland Trooper was more than happy to flip on his lights and go have a talk with Ford dickhead after he went blasting by. Being the friendly person that I am, I gave a quick double honk on the horn as I passed by Ford dickhead and Maryland Trooper sitting on the side of the road. Maryland Trooper gave me a thumbs up which leads me to believe he was paying attention to the whole damned thing.
But thats not the best part of the story.
We had a meeting scheduled with a vendor this morning which was basically set to finalize a fairly decent sized contract for a SAN and remote office backup solution.
Everyone looked at me as if I had lost my mind when vendor tech Ford dickhead walked into the meeting late (I wonder why?) and I busted out laughing. After I calmed down a bit, I looked him in the eye and asked ‘Do you see any reason to continue this meeting? Because I sure as hell don’t.’ He stared at me for bit with a confused look. Obviously he didn’t recognize me. ‘Well? Aren’t you going to flip me off and yell ‘fuck you’ again?” Ah, now he recognizes me. I’ve never actually seen the color drain from somebodies face before. It is quite a sight.
Turns out vendor does not have another tech they can assign to this contract so now they have no contract.
Whoops.

Extra points if you make sure some higher-ups at the vendor read this blog post.
I failed to mention that vendor sales rep and vendor exec where ALREADY in the meeting with us. They are now fully aware of what happened.
That’s classic! Good job.
schadenfreude never tasted so good
I had a similar situation happen with an 18-wheeler running a volvo off the road after I tried to tell him not to pass on the right. but the office rider is fantastic.
Now where in the hell did you pick up that word?! And if you ever use words in the comments that make me open a dictionary again, I’m gonna go kill a kitten.
Hook me up with his info so I can make sure he doesn’t mess with Hunt Valley Information Technology Guild again.
That is SOOOOO priceless!!!