One of the office buildings I regularly spend a bit of my work week at is advertised as a ‘green’ building.  Reused materials, solar panels, recycling program, etc.  Along with this theme they have a grand total of 17 parking spots around the building that have signs posted that say ‘For Green Vehicles Only’.  After the handicapped spots, they are the prime parking areas.

Every time I’ve been at this building, every one of these spots has been empty.

A couple of weeks ago I had a bit of an epiphany.  As a result of said epiphany, I parked my Ford F-150 Crew Cab truck in a spot reserved for ‘green’ vehicles.  On my way to leave I was accosted buy building management (with a member of building security in tow).

‘You can’t park that here!’


‘It’s clearly marked for GREEN vehicles ONLY!’

‘So it is….  and?’

‘That THING is clearly NOT green!’ (Yes, he called my baby a ‘thing’. Bastard.)

‘Sure it is.’

‘What?  How?’

‘It’s a flex fuel vehicle.  In fact, I’m currently running E85.’


‘Ethanol.  E85 Ethanol.  Corn gas.  Green.’

‘That’s not what we meant!’

‘Well you don’t do a very good job of explaining it.’

‘Just don’t park it here again’ and he stormed off (security wandered off a bit earlier…  I think to keep from laughing)

In any case…  I was back at this building today and noticed something.  About a third of the spots that were previously marked as green were no long marked at all.  It looks like the unwashed parking masses were now allowed to use them.

The other spots?  They all had new shiny signs….  ‘For Hybrid Vehicles Only’.

They were also all empty.


5 Responses to “Define ‘green’”

  • Scott says:

    At first I thought the punch line was going to be that your vehicle was the color green. Either way, nicely played.

  • psychophil says:

    I just can’t believe that they not only changed the signs, but changed them that fast.

  • Hutch says:

    Realizing of course that ethanol isn’t exactly “Green” at all. In fact it puts more pressure on food supplies, arable land etc…

    Even “Hybrids” aren’t all that green, putting out cars that will be phased out by full electric vehicles doesn’t make sense, especially when they still require fuel to operate.

    I guess they had to change the signs so that people such as yourself would “clearly” understand in the future 😉

  • psychophil says:

    Basically the case could be made that no fuel is truly ‘Green’. Solar panels and batteries are made from materials that come from very destructive and polluting mining processes. Ethanol uses fuel and food to create fuel. Natural gas has to be drilled for just like oil (and then there’s fracking). Hell, windmills are killing flocks of birds (though they do make for some fantastic videos when they fail).

  • The K Spot says:

    For a moment there, I held my breath hoping you would respond that the vehicle was actually “green” in color. Semantics…oh to hope. Great job with the guard. And you were correct, btw. And all hybrid vehicle worshipping aside, how green are these electric car owners when these cars are finally junked? They are an environmental disaster according to most research.

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